This was Brian’s favorite photo of me. He always told me so. It was taken in 1973, when I was just 18 years old. We had moved into our first apartment in Minneapolis. He had left the band to go back to school so he could go into studio recording. I worked two jobs, one as a waitress and another at a Scandinavian bakery to help put him through school. We were barely scraping by but were blissfully happy. One of our favorite things to do on our very limited budget was to climb the ladder to the roof of the apartment building and watch the sunrise. Brian always went first to help me up. He took this photo as I reached the top of the ladder. I can still remember the day.

Brian kept this picture on his desk at home and at his various jobs all of these many years. When he passed, Fototechnika returned his personal effects to me. This photo was in the package. I never really gave it much thought before but today as I walked by it, I looked at it with new eyes.

I wasn’t a pretty girl. My hair was straight and fine, my teeth too far apart. I couldn’t help but wonder, what did he see when he looked at that old picture that would cause him to keep it so close at hand for 45 years? I will never know the answer for sure as I never thought to ask, but I hope that he saw the love in my eyes. I hope that it reminded him of those early days of counting change to pay the rent and thought, wow that was so worth it. I hope it made him happy that we had made it all of these years in spite of some really difficult times. And I hope it reminded him of all of the fun we had. If I could have one last wish tonight, I would wish that I was on that ladder looking up at his smiling face just one more time. I love you Brian.

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