Entries by Editor

A Bundle of Love

February 12, 2020 I have never been so aware of life changes as I have been since my husband passed.  It has been a time of reflection upon what was and an opening to the possibilities of the future.  A future without him. I recently made a major decision that was the most difficult yet.  […]

Brian’s Memory Honored Through a Boy Named Blake

Jean’s Journal  –  December 23, 2019 Part 2 Evening was falling as I collected my things from the car and walked to the mailbox to gather the holiday wishes of the day.  There were several Christmas cards and one overstuffed, letter sized envelope with three Santa stamps and no return address. Although I was immediately […]

Joyful Service

Jean’s Journal – December 23, 2019 Part 1 To say it was an extraordinary day is an understatement. For the energy that filled and surrounded me as I walked through it was one of joyful service.  You know, it’s that feeling you get when you know that you are doing something really good for someone […]

It came like a dream, before it had been dreamed…

Journal Entry – Sunday, Oct 13 Well it has been an interesting day.  We all made it through the anniversary of Brian’s passing, difficult as it was.  I purchased some lovely small urns and filled them with Brian’s ashes knowing that the family would all be here today including Dontae and Will.  I have been […]


It was when my husband passed away that my children first suggested that I get a dog.  One month later it came up again when my house was broken into.  Although I love dogs, I did not want to make any major changes in my life right then.  More recently I put it out to […]

The Best Worst Day

Journal September 21, 2019 Thank you Lord for the best worst day! Yesterday was such a difficult day from the moment I attempted to put my feet to the floor.  There it was again.  Vertigo.  And it was back with full force.  I was shocked.  I had just been to treatment for it the day […]

Love on a Rooftop

This was Brian’s favorite photo of me. He always told me so. It was taken in 1973, when I was just 18 years old. We had moved into our first apartment in Minneapolis. He had left the band to go back to school so he could go into studio recording. I worked two jobs, one […]

Am I To Be Broken Father?

From the depths of my soul, I cried out to Father Mother God. The pain, both physical and emotional, nearly more than I could bear. Am I to be broken Father, I asked? No my child, Mother whispered gently. Broken open my love, not broken. That is much different indeed. Being broken open is a […]

Be careful what you pray for…

Just five weeks after my husband passed away my house was ransacked and robbed. It was Sunday afternoon, November 18th. I’d had a nice lunch with my ministers group and then stopped at my daughter’s to drop off some of Brian’s clothes for donation to the homeless. Upon my return, I noticed my kitchen door […]